If you could go back in time, would you do everything the same?

Years pass and we learn from our mistakes or let them take us down. But, would we make those mistakes again if we knew then what we know now.

My husband and I talked about our past today and he asked me if I knew then, when we got together, what I know now, 4 years in, would I do it all the same.

Because he would….

I would…but I wouldn’t… I can’t say for sure that my 16-17 year old self would decide to be with him if I knew what all it took to get to where we are today. But, if I could talk to my younger self I’d tell her to do it but take her time.

I would be a parent to myself and tell her to take her time and figure out who she was before getting serious with a young man. I would tell her to learn more about her spouse and set boundaries to prevent the worst outcomes and gain mutual respect. I’d tell her to live on her own before moving in with her boyfriend and becoming a mother.

Love has no time limit so I’d tell her to really take the time to grow love and not rush to be a wife and mother before she got a chance to be herself.

If you could go back in time and re-do something what would it be and why?

If you could give advice to your younger self what would it be?

Quote Of The Day

For a long time I thought about my wants and dreams but I felt like I had no way of achieving these crazy goals so it was easy to give up. But when you go through with your crazy dreams so much good can come your way.

It could be anything that you dream of like love, a career, or a successful business. But nothing will ever come of it if you give up before you even start.

Closed mouths don’t get fed and questions never get answered if you don’t ask. But why give up if it continuously haunts you to do better for yourself?

If You Can Talk About It, You Can Manage It.

Have you lied to someone you love? Is it hard to talk about things that bother you or things that you left in your past?

Communication is so big when your dealing with other people. It can make or break any kind of relationship because, it is a key role.

The biggest thing in relationships is being able to manage whatever is thrown your way. It doesn’t matter what type of relationship it is whether it’s between parent and child, a couple, or even a friendship. But, to be able to coexist and manage communication correctly with each other allows comprehension and trust to be gained.

You can’t go through a relationship thinking “oh it was just a little white lie” or “It was in my past so it doesn’t matter now” you have to think of how your words and choices will affect the other person in the relationship. For example if you lie to your sister because you don’t want her to know something. If she were to find out she would be hurt, mad, and even lose trust in you all because you didn’t tell the truth. Or if you had multiple sexual partners in the past but didn’t tell your current partner Because “It was in your past”. That could affect them negatively.

To just be honest and talk and communicate what’s going on in that moment is huge. It can be discussed and taken into consideration for your decisions and help others understand who you are. If you can bring it up you can manage the situation. no matter the situation.

Post Partum Paranoia

Being a first time parent is one of the scariest milestones anyone can go through. You over think and over react to just about any and everything. You question yourself as a parent and as an individual. You even freak out just going to the grocery store. Paranoia gets to you whenever it comes to your precious bundle of joy. This is about the paranoia I go through as a new mommy in 2019 and how I try to overcome it day by day. Hopefully it will help you get through rough patches where paranoia and anxiety get to you about your child.

My Story

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So I had my baby in mid may of this year, 2019, and prior to having her I was fine. while I was pregnant I never thought that my attitude would change about my baby in any way. Actually I thought I was going to take my baby every where and show her off to the world and show people of how proud I am to be her mommy. But in all honesty my paranoia about my babies safety started the same night she was born.

When she was born everything worried me. I was scared she would quit breathing, scared that I was being too rough, I was even scared that the nurses were not doing a thorough enough job and could be harming her. After taking her home my brain went into overdrive with these kind of thoughts… irrational thoughts. If you’re anything like me you’re a worry wart. I think of something negative and then my mind takes it THERE. When I say it takes it THERE I mean to that place where the thoughts are super negative and most likely would never happen in my life time.

This kind of thinking still happens to me at least once a week. No I am not depressed, or going through baby blues, or even post part depression. I would never think of hurting my baby nor am I unhappy in day to day life. But when I watch the news or see posts on facebook about missing kids, babies getting killed in daycare, school shootings, and many many other bad situations, I can’t help but fear the worst scenarios. When I think of these scenarios it makes me want to shelter my baby from the evil outside world.

How I Cope With These Negative Thoughts

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There’s no way in the world that I can prevent ALL the bad things away from my child. Matter of fact I don’t want to because she will one day have to learn how to deal with bad things on her own. But to help get rid of a lot of the paranoia of the unknown I try to get out of my comfort zone in a positive way. I still watch the news because it keeps me updated with what I need to know but I do not let that stop me from doing what I need to do and experiencing what I want to with my daughter.

For example, I have a fear that if I go to the store and take my eye off her for one second to pick up something someone will kidnap her and I won’t be able to do anything about it. So to make myself feel better when we do go to the store I take her father or someone else related with me to have a sense of back up. Someone else who will have eyes on my child as well. I also carry pepper spray just in case for my safety and my daughters. Even if you don’t have pepper spray you can carry perfume it isn’t as harsh but it’ll still burn someones eyes .

I also try to enjoy the little things with my daughter and turn those negative thoughts into positive thoughts. If I want to take my baby to go on a playdate or somewhere fun I try to be cautious as well as have fun. take pictures and bask in the moment while I can. I have learned that you will miss all the big stuff in your babies life if you sweat the little stuff. So I try to go ahead and do the things that give me that paranoia and reassure myself by taking protective precautions.

If your thoughts are more “deadly” in a sense of you want to harm yourself, others, or your baby, I would recommend seeking help. Talk to your doctor or maybe go to a therapist if things are just too much for you. You can also take time away from your baby if need be to calm down and release some stress.

In conclusion/ Summary

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I do worry quite a bit but I do not let that stop me from enjoying my life with my little one. There are plenty of ways to reassure yourself that everything will be ok in the long run by taking precautions but going ahead and facing your irrational fears. If you are having fatal thoughts please seek professional help there are so many outlets that you can use. I hope that this helped in any kind of way, even if it just made you feel better that your not alone in how you think.

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Please let me know your irrational fears when it comes to your child/children, or any questions or comments in the comments section below.